Monday, September 24, 2012

Starts with a C

This past week in Intro to Cinema class, we watched two classics virtually back-to-back: Citizen Kane and Casablanca. I'd seen both of them before. I'd never had the chance to critically analyze Casablanca before, but I'd definitely analyzed Citizen Kane (because pretty much the only time you ever watch that movie is when you're in a film class), and when it came time to submit the weekly film journal, I decided to compare the two. We saw the films a week apart, with plenty of discussion between the two screenings. This journal-style essay was the result.

I guess it goes without saying that as far as classics go, I find this much more enjoyable than Citizen Kane, mainly because I can watch this one without wanting to sock the main character in the face (sorry, Orson Welles). However, watching the two films virtually back-to-back (if you consider the fact that I didn’t watch any other movies between the two screenings “watching them back-to-back”) gave me new perspective on both films. I'm not saying Citizen Kane sucks--far from it--but I noticed things about both films that I hadn't thought of before.

First of all, the direction—and by extension the acting—seems much more refined in Casablanca. Not that the acting in Citizen Kane sucks, because there are some incredible performances Citizen Kane, but in some (and by some, I mean a lot) scenes, Orson Welles seems like a loose cannon, which can take away from the believability. I’d be inclined to think that this is mostly because the director of Casablanca wasn’t trying to play the lead role of the film as well. I know from experience that it’s difficult to direct and play a major character at the same time—not impossible by any stretch, but definitely a challenge, and not something that any sane person would recommend doing for a director’s first feature film.

In Casablanca, you identify with the characters. The Hollywood Production Code was clearly worried about that, because they insisted on the film ending with Ilsa going with her husband—but the audience can at least understand her motives, even if they don’t necessarily agree with her actions. Yes, she commits adultery, but at the time of her affair she doesn’t realize that she is cheating. Same for Rick—is it a slight shock when he shoots Major Strasser at the end? Yes, but he is doing it so two innocent people can escape to safety. Can we understand why Ilsa is torn between two men? I can. The film is set up in a way that allows us to feel sympathy for both her husband and her lover, without taking away the element of competition between the two men.

In class we discussed the idea of Welles being a “kid in a candy shop” on the set of Citizen Kane, a concept that is thrown into even sharper relief when compared to the subtlety of Casablanca. Last week in my journal, I talked about how the moods of the characters in Citizen Kane are demonstrated via dramatic lighting and cinematography. Casablanca, by contrast, does not rely exclusively on lights, sets, and camera angles to tell the story. Because the directing is more refined, the lighting can set the mood and then allow the characters to take over the scene, rather than being the driving force behind the scene.

I’m thinking of the scene where Ilsa explains herself to Rick and they make up. The lighting is immaculate—the room is dimly lit, clearly meant to be dark, but it’s not so dark or so heavily shadowed that you can’t see the actors’ faces during the emotionally tense scene. Same for the ending—it’s dark outside, it’s definitely nighttime, and it works for the tone of the scene because it’s definitely a bittersweet end, but the lighting is meant to highlight the performances rather than carry the entire scene. In some films, like Citizen Kane, the lighting is as much of a character as the actors, and in some films that works—but the lighting in Casablanca helps the actors subtly manipulate the audience’s emotions. Overall with Casablanca I get a sense of maturity and consistency. There is drama, but it doesn’t cross over into full-on melodrama, and I think that’s mainly because of the strong direction, strong performances, and subtly artistic lighting and camerawork.

Saturday, September 22, 2012

When You Have the Chance

There is one basic fact that no one understands about photography (including amateur photographers *coughmecoughcough*): your first shot is never your best. Case in point: it took me over 24 hours just to sort and choose the photos for this blog post. Out of the 200 pictures I snagged at McDaniel College Advocacy Team's Night of Nets, only 72 were usable. Out of those, I chose the final 20, a.k.a. the ones I'm posting here. I was there from 8:30 to 11:30 PM, so it took three hours to get 20 photos. But I'm not complaining, because Night of Nets is an amazing cause, and anytime Mara (leader of McDaniel Advocacy Team) asks me to do something, I will do it. I don't care what part of my schedule I have to rearrange. I don't care what I have to miss. If she needs me, I will there.

Simply put, Night of Nets is about malaria. The main purposes are to raise money for bed nets and raise awareness about malaria. Participants sleep outside in tents all night, make t-shirts, give donations to organizations that distribute malaria treatment to the most-affected locations, paint and draw malaria-related posters, and write postcards to spread awareness of malaria. Advocacy Team does this every year. Last year (my freshman year) I was a lot more involved. This year, I couldn't be as involved in preparation (thank you, Allies Affinity House and peer mentor job), but Mara asked me if I wouldn't mind coming out and taking some photos on the big night. And like I said, I can never say no to Mara.

The full photoset will be up on Flickr and Facebook by Monday, but I wanted to post a preview here first. I love these pictures, not because they're mind-blowingly good (they're not--I still have a lot to learn about night photography), but because I love Night of Nets and I love that Mara let me be a part of it again. I can't be in Advocacy Team this semester thanks to a class at the exact same time as the meetings, but that doesn't mean I can't stay involved. And believe me, I will do anything I can to stay involved in something as amazing as Advocacy Team.



The highlights of Night of Nets 2012:

















































































Sunday, September 16, 2012

The Pants Mission

Ten Things To Say In A Clothing Store If You Want To Make The Sales Clerk Laugh Her Ass Off:

1) "Can you help me? I don't wear pants very often."

2) "Pants confuse me. I think they do it on purpose. They smell my fear."

3) "I think I might be allergic to pants...is that medically possible?"

4) "I like these pants. They don't look like they were just snatched from a band of angry narwhals."

5) "Oh my God, I found the Holy Grail of pants!"

6) "I can't wear skinny pants. I look like I've just been stepped on."

7) "Is it okay for leprechauns to wear bootcut pants?"

8) "I've never bought my own pants before...wait, that came out wrong."

9) "Oh my God, I did the impossible...I FOUND COMFORTABLE PANTS."

10) "I do stupid things when I'm in love...like voluntarily buy pants."

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Yes. I said all of these today. It actually happened.

Lovebird, this is what I go through for you. Are you happy now? You have successfully pants-ified me.

P.S. Damn right I love you...I wouldn't go through the Pants Mission for anyone else.

Tuesday, September 11, 2012

The Lucky One

So much has happened in these last few weeks I can't even begin to describe it all. I've gone back to college and moved in with six incredible young women who make my life complete (and completely insane). I've grown up so much since my summer at Interlochen. When things happen this fast there really isn't much you can do except grab onto something, hold tight, and wait for the ride to end so you can pull yourself together.

I had ten days to be ready to go back to college, followed by an insane two weeks of peer mentor training and orientation. The semester was off to an insane start: the drama commenced before we'd even finished moving in. For the first two weeks I was scared, vulnerable and unfocused. I poured my nervous energy into my mentees. You know how it is when you can't get away from drama--especially when it's not just your own, but everyone else's, because you're so involved with your friends that their shit follows you around too? Yeah. That. That's how it felt.

And then, last Friday night, the unthinkable happened.

I am in a relationship.

I have a girlfriend. I am someone's girlfriend. I like someone, and she likes me back.

I was not expecting this. I didn't know it was coming, but apparently all my friends could see it coming a mile away, because there was practically a full-blown conspiracy to set us up. (Actually, my house leader jokingly promised me a party if I got away from my destructive former crush and dated this girl.) I didn't even realize I had feelings for her until someone pointed it out to me. Only then did I realize what an idiot I was, not to see something that was pretty much staring me in the face.

It takes me a long time to fall for someone. When I have a crush it's instantaneous, it's that instant jolt of physical or mental attraction. When I am in love it's slow-building, it takes me a long time to realize, wait a minute, I actually care about this person in a different way...WHOA...where'd that come from? And then it takes me even longer to get used to it enough to do anything about it. My friends forced me to speed up that procedure and I'm so glad they did. Because I am happier than I've been for a long time...and it's because of her.

I wrote on my Tumblr the day after we got together, Am I allowed to look at other people? Are other people allowed to look at me? I think I’ve gone through life with this idea that as soon as I was taken, people would stop looking at me. Then I realized, well, no one ever really checks me out anyway. Now, maybe it’s because she has only recently managed to convince me that I’m not hideously unattractive, but suddenly, looks that I usually would interpret as “you must be crazy” I am suddenly interpreting as “hmm, I’d scoop that.” Is this wrong of me? Am I crazy, or is this really happening?

She calls me beautiful. She calls me sweetheart. I wrote her a love letter, and she told me I have pretty handwriting (she’s wrong, but I didn’t tell her that). And every time she pushes my hair out of my eyes, or rests her forehead against mine, or kisses the back of my hand or the base of my neck or whatever part of me happens to be within kissing range, a little electric shock runs through me. How long am I allowed to be ridiculously, insanely happy about this? Is there an expiration date, or will I go through the rest of my life giggling like an idiot whenever someone mentions her name?

I wish I had the answers to my billion-and-one questions--but I clearly don't. Here is what I know: after a freaking scary start, my sophomore year is finally starting to click. And I know why. And I'm going to hold onto that.

Come at me, McDaniel. I have a new partner-in-crime.

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Most of my photography as of late has been focused on learning to take pictures "in the moment" rather than spending a ton of time trying to set up each shot. This meant learning to take better pictures of humans (one of the aspects I still struggle with) as well. Most of these are from my summer job at Interlochen Center for the Arts--but a few are from college and home as well. Take a look: