And for awhile I couldn't figure out just what it was about them that I distrusted so much. I had a bad experience with a brony who goes to my college, but he and I never saw eye-to-eye to begin with; his love for MLP was way, way down on my list of things I despised about him. I've never been locked in a room with a hundred rabid bronies and subjected to MLP marathons. Like I said, I've never even seen the damn show. So what, precisely, was setting off my Ick Alarms?
It wasn't the fact that it was a kid's show with an adult fanbase. I know forty-year-old men who watch iCarly with their kids and admit to loving it. My college friends and I still watch Avatar: The Last Airbender. My physics teacher from high school wore a Spongebob Squarepants tie on a regular basis. I don't find any of that creepy in the least...not in that form, anyway, but I'll get to that later. And it sure as hell wasn't the gender-bending idea of a man liking a female-oriented show; I see that a lot too. One of my guy friends in high school used to watch Hannah Montana with me just for the hell of it. I love watching football, as do plenty of girls in my Christian fellowship. So, again, it wasn't the basic idea of "guy loving girl's show" that was squicking me out.
But there was still something about bronies that made me uncomfortable. And it wasn't until I came across THIS on Tumblr that I figured out what it was:
It’s funny, because when women enjoy male-dominated things like video games or comics, we are called “attention whores,” yet men who take over an entire fandom of a show aimed at little girls and create their own little movement based on it claim to be oppressed because people are creeped out by them. And then they've got the nerve to argue they are “challenging masculinity”? Puh-lease. Bronies are entitled males, they hate women, they even seem to hate the little girls the show was originally made for.
That. That, right there, is my underlying problem with the Brony culture and the stigma attached to it.
Let me put it this way: I'm a girl, and I like football. I don't obsessively follow football; I can't quote every statistic of every game, I don't even have the chance to watch most games, and I can't name every quarterback of every NFL team. I can't even name every player of my favorite teams. But there are two men that I follow, and their names are Eli and Peyton Manning. They play, respectively, for the New York Giants and the Denver Broncos. I look up to these men, I admire these men, and believe it or not I actually know the rules of the game that they're playing. I have played that game before--not on an official team, but in small groups, you know, in someone's backyard, or wherever. I know how to throw a football and how to catch a football. I watch the Super Bowl for reasons other than the halftime show and the commercials. I know what a touchdown is, I know what the linebacker does, I know what "first down" means. I have never once asked the question, "Do two quarterbacks make a halfback?"
I even have teams I don't like. As in, not teams I just don't follow, but teams I actively dislike, teams I want to see lose. I highly dislike the Detroit Lions (I know, I know--a Michigander who doesn't like the Lions? Never seen that before, have you?), but I detest the Patriots. If it came down to it, I'd be happy to see the Lions beat the Patriots. In Westminster you'll frequently see the slogan, "I root for two teams: The Ravens, and whoever's playing the Steelers." For me, it's more like, I root for three teams: the Giants, the Broncos, and whoever's playing the Patriots.
Okay, I got a little off-track there. Simply put: I'm not obsessed with football, but I enjoy watching it and, on occasion, playing it.
Try explaining that to any of the men I deal with on a day-to-day basis other than my father. I can't count the number of times I've heard the following:
"Yeah right. You like football."
"You know that's a sport, right?"
"If you really liked football, you'd go to all our home games."
"Okay, you're a football fan? Tell me how many touchdowns [player's name here] got last season." (Or who's the coach of the 49ers, or what it means to punt the ball, or how many minutes are in each half, or whatever.)
"I bet you've never even been to a game."
"What teams do you like? The Giants? Pfft, you're only naming teams that have won the Super Bowl, you probably don't even know any other teams."
"You don't even own a jersey, do you?"
"You can't be a real football fan unless you [own a jersey/cap/hoodie/coffee mug, go to games, follow NFL on twitter, etc.]."
And last but not least, my personal favorite: "You just say that to meet guys, don't you?"
I was once having a ridiculously late lunch with a guy friend in a practically-deserted cafeteria. One of the other three occupants was wearing a NY Giants t-shirt. When he passed, I gave him a thumbs up and said, "Love the shirt."
He stopped. Stared. Looked at me like I had three heads. "What?"
Confused, I replied, "Um...nice shirt? I like the Giants too."
He continued to gape. My guy friend jumped in and said, "Yeah man, the Giants are cool."
BOOM. Immediately the guy turned around and started to talk to my friend, going on and on about man that Eli's got an arm and will they make it again this year you think? while I sat there, essentially invisible. After a few attempts even my friend didn't bother trying to include me in the conversation. Every one of my comments was rejected as "stupid" or ignored entirely. I was a girl. It was a guys' conversation. I had no place there.
Finally I made one last effort and remarked that the fact that they'd now beaten the Patriots in the Super Bowl twice was what sealed their place in my heart. The other Giants fan turned to me and said scathingly, "That and the fact that Eli Manning's hot, right?" and carried right on chatting with my friend. I sat there, stunned, tears in my eyes. After a moment I got up and left. I don't think either of them noticed I was gone.
I don't talk to that friend anymore. (This wasn't the first incident in a similar vein, believe me.) And I've learned to bite back compliments or high-fives relating to other fans' team pride. Why? Because I can count the times I've seen another girl wearing those shirts on one hand (unless you count the cameras at the Super Bowl, which I don't). And if I do comment on it, I'm usually rewarded with one of the friendly comments listed above. Unless I'm talking to another girl, in which case the conversation usually turns at some point to the subject of how often we're blown off for making football-related comments.
What, you may ask, does this have to do with Bronies? Well, it's like the comment on Tumblr: when a girl loves something that's "for guys," it's treated as completely out there. Totally unheard of. The Big Bang Theory loves to make fun of this: if a woman is seen in the video game or comic book store, "she must be lost." One of my best friends loves video games, anime, superheroes, and Star Wars. She will talk your ear off about any of these subjects, given the chance. If she's in a game store or specialty shop, you can be damn sure that she isn't lost. She's there because she fucking wants to be.
And guess what, gentlemen? It's the same story for the rest of us. If I hear one more "Girls can't be geeks" slur or joke, I'm going to throttle someone, because guess the fuck what? When I walk into a costume store and ask how to replicate Loki's armor, I'm not joking, and I'm not requesting a midriff-baring imitation that looks like a green leather minidress with a horned helmet on top. When I quote A Clockwork Orange, I'm not trying to confuse whoever's listening, I genuinely want someone to jump in and quote the next line.
Basically, I'm--we're--not looking for attention. We're looking for identification.
And I would be totally down with the whole Brony thing, if that were it for them as well. But it's not.
Again, let me explain it this way: When I make a reference in a random group of people and someone gets it, I high-five them and, more often than not, start a conversation about it. If I understand a reference that someone else makes, I usually get the same response from them. And if I don't understand it? I get a recommendation. ("That's from Two and a Half Men, you should totally check it out!") And if I've seen the show, movie, or web series and didn't like it, I'll say, "I've seen it, I just don't care for it," and sometimes they'll push it ("Oh come on, did you give it a chance? Really? Well..."), but if I firmly repeat my position ("I'm not saying it's bad, it's just not my taste"), they'll let it go ("Oh ok, well have you ever seen Big Bang Theory? You might like it better.").
Now, if I'm in a similar situation with someone who identifies as a Brony, what will usually happen is this:
Brony Guy: [reference to MLP, laughs]
Me: What? I don't get it.
BG: WHAT? But that's a MLP reference, don't you watch MLP?
Me: No...
BG: YOU SHOULD TOTALLY WATCH IT OH MY GOD WHAT ARE YOU FUCKING DOING WITH YOUR LIFE.
Me: I'm just not interested in it.
BG: YOU SHOULD BE!
Me: I don't think so, it's not my thing.
BG: You should watch it. You're a girl.
Me: But I don't like it.
BG: You should like it and if you're not into it there's clearly something wrong with you.
Me: What is it that you love so much about it?
BG: Are you saying I shouldn't love it because I'm a guy?
Me: No...
BG: Because it's TOTALLY okay for guys to like MLP. I LOVE MLP and I'm masculine as fuck. We're challenging the stereotype of men and you should be happy about that, you Member of the Female Gender, you.
Me: Okay...yeah I get the gender non-conforming thing, I'm a girl and I love Marvel.
BG: WHAT? No you can't love Marvel...I bet you've never even read the comics...You don't even know where Loki came from, you don't know anything about the mythology, you just think Tom Hiddleston is sexy and you probably think Iron Man is hot tell me the true origin of the Hulk and what was Pepper's given name and what year did the first Captain America comic come out and oh you don't even like X-Men you clearly don't know shit...
You see what I'm saying?
Obviously that situation is exaggerated. And I'm not saying I go around searching out Bronies to have that conversation with. But in case you're scratching your head right now, wondering what it is besides the obvious sexism of his reaction to my participation in the Marvel fandom that would bother me about that exchange, let me point out three key issues about that conversation:
1) His participation in a non-gender-conforming fandom is worthy of a pat on the back. Mine, however, is implausible. He is challenging masculinity. I'm just indulging an alleged crush.
2) He assumes that because of my gender, I automatically will be a fan of something "girly." The fact that I wouldn't like a show full of pink ponies just never crosses his mind, until I tell him.
3) Most annoying regardless of sex or gender: Even when I tell him I'm not into MLP, he continues to press the fandom on me despite my lack of interest.
To me, this is one of the biggest mistakes any member of any fandom can make. I don't care how much you love your fandom--if someone isn't interested, shut the hell up and move on.
I love Harry Potter. A lot of my friends love Harry Potter. And honestly, we are not, for the most part, going to understand people who hate Harry Potter. We especially are not going to understand people who think Harry Potter teaches witchcraft to unsuspecting children. We will mock these people to one another. We'll roll our eyes when someone suggests that Harry Potter is bad for kids because it teaches Satanism and Wicca. We'll swap stories with each other about what happened when we were judged in the bookstore or department store for buying Harry Potter books or gear. We'll swap those stories about getting awkward stares in Toys-R-Us (because for some unknown reason, 90% of the Harry Potter props are marketed as toys) or about meeting someone with a rare Hufflepuff varsity jacket that we're now determined to replicate. We're a community; it's what we do.
However, what we will not do, as a whole, is go onto forums like ChristiansWhoHateJKRowling.com and plaster their message boards with stills from the movie. Yes, there's the odd troll who will do this, but you find those everywhere on the internet; you can't tell if they're real Potter fans or just trying to stir up trouble. And that's a sad reality of the internet and something we can move on from. I'm okay with that.
Bronies do not seem to share this sentiment. They're like the evangelical denomination of geek-fandom: they plaster their ponies everywhere, regardless of whether or not they're wanted. I've de-friended two people on Facebook and blocked someone from Tumblr because I was legitimately so sick of getting assaulted by pony propaganda every time I went to check my dash or newsfeed...and that's from someone who's just indifferent to MLP. I can only imagine what people who actively hate MLP must feel like when they go to check their favorite social media sites and get hit with the image of fifty Rainbow Dashes (I think that's the one pony's name...not sure...)
You don't force your favorite show on someone. It's not nice. Period.
But there's one more problem I have with it, and this one comes across as a little judgmental...as in, more judgmental than the rest of this post could be construed as; I'm not trying to judge, really, I'm not...but here goes: It's not that I think older people loving a kid's show is creepy. I think that what's creepy is how these guys completely dominate the fanbase of this show while completely disregarding the audience for whom it was initially intended.
Wait, wait, I know you're thinking "But we already covered this..." Not exactly. What we covered was the misogynist nature of Bronies. What I'm talking about is how the idea of this being a children's show (WHICH IT INITIALLY WAS) that has been totally taken over by an adult fanbase warrants a major rating on the Ick-O-Meter.
I'm not talking about teenage guys watching this with their younger siblings and enjoying it more than they'd care to admit. I'm not talking about fathers watching it with their kids and chuckling at the references the little ones don't understand. I'm not talking about college kids watching this to mock the hell out of it when they're bored. I'm not even talking about watching it as a guilty pleasure; I have nothing against people who watch shows like MLP simply because they want to, and not because they have young children or siblings who want to watch TV with them.
I'll confess something here: I used to watch LazyTown when I was...well, way too old to be watching it, let's put it that way. I'm talking like thirteen, fourteen, fifteen here. I mean I read the fanfiction, rented the DVDs, seriously considered dying my hair pink, dreamed of meeting Sportacus (because let's be honest here, Magnus Scheving was freakin' hot), and related to Stephanie as though she were my age, even though the character was supposed to be something like eight years old. I still maintain that LazyTown was a damn good show, a hell of a lot better than most of the shows I've been unfortunate enough to sample today...but I still didn't like to tell people my opinion on that, because you know what? People wouldn't have understood why I liked that show. No matter how you sliced it, I was a teenager watching a show intended for little kids and...well...that's kind of weird. I didn't feel the need to tell people about that. It was just one of my secret guilty pleasures.
Now, if I watched that show with a Brony mentality, I'd have behaved a lot differently. Covered my notebooks with LazyTown stickers, posted pictures and videos on all my social media, and loudly and violently proclaimed my love for the show to anyone who would listen--and plenty of people who wouldn't. What? You don't like LazyTown? You think it's just a little weird for a high-schooler to be watching a show intended for seven-year-olds? Let me tell you, in four-part harmony, about how you're oppressing me and how narrow-minded you are and how I should be able to watch whatever I want to watch, damn it!
If I'd done that I'd be labeled weird or scary. The MLP fandom, however, can do that and the worst thing they get is "annoying."
And that right there is my underlying problem with the guys who watch MLP and identify as "Bronies." I don't have a problem with them watching the show. I have a problem with them shoving the show down my throat and accusing me of "oppressing" them or "stereotyping" them when I say I'm not interested.
Watch what you want to watch. Talk about it. Be excited about it. But for the love of God, if someone says, "I don't like that fandom, stop talking about it to me?" Stop talking about it to that person.
Please.
Consider it a random act of kindness.
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