On the Move

I have never spent four years in the same school.

I'm not sure why this is the case. Maybe I'm just really bad at choosing schools. Maybe I'm too picky. Maybe I just don't give places enough of a chance. I don't know. What I do know is that, as of Tuesday, September 3rd, I will officially begin my life at Oakland University. Yes, that's right, I'm moving from my tiny little liberal arts college in Maryland to a huge-ass university near my suburb. I'll have three night classes and an online class, which just meshes SO WELL with my job...where I can only get evening and weekend shifts. Oh, and did I mention my fiancee still lives in Maryland...along with a large percentage of my friends?

In short: What in the hell was I thinking?

Well, I was thinking that the Michigan film industry, while it does fluctuate (and recover) like anywhere else, has gotten a lot of attention and money as of late. There are plenty of opportunities for people like me, who want to go into the film industry, right here in my home state. But two years ago I was so focused on getting out, on trying to find freedom somewhere else, that I didn't understand as well as I should have what was going on in my own backyard. (Literally--Real Steel was shot in a gravel pit mere yards from my house. The crew actually knocked out our power a couple of times because the equipment used so much electricity.)

And here's the thing: I'll have a better chance of getting a job in my preferred industry right out of college if I stay here. In fact, some of the students in my chosen major have already been chosen to intern and work on professional sets, which is great news for me because I've been dying to do that since pretty much forever. And that's not the only reason OU is awesome for filmmakers. We have our own filmmakers' guild and our own film festival. I'm psyched. Nervous, yes, but definitely psyched.

But this takes me again to the fact that, yet again, I'm changing the rules halfway through the game. I'm uprooting myself, going to a new place, and basically starting over. Why do I keep doing this to myself? I think it's mostly because of my generally restless attitude towards life. I always want something new. I get bored easily, I tend to move from thing to thing because I like new things and I don't want to let old things go but I forget things sometimes and...yeah. I want to keep moving on--my dream is to travel and never live in one place too long--but at the same time, I want something to last. It's a bit conflicting, to say the least.

So I move on. I move from high school to high school, from college to college, hoping that somewhere I'm going to fit in, somewhere I'm going to say "this is where I should have been all along." I tell my friends that I will miss them, that I love them, that I will try--this time I will try (and this time, I really mean it)--I will try my hardest, I swear, to stay close to them, to stay in touch no matter what. Thank God for Facebook and email; these are my greatest allies in times like this. And I promise that no matter what I will always think of them, that they will always be in my heart, because that's true. And I keep going. Always keep going. Anything that derails me must be dealt with immediately and thoroughly.

I won't write my good-byes here. The people I love have already been written to, and they know they will be missed. My Gamma Sig sisters, my best friends, my fiancee (who knew, almost before I did, that I was going to say yes to this chance)--they know where I am. They know I need to be here. And they know, or at least I desperately hope they do, that this isn't abandonment. I am not saying "Screw you, McDaniel College." I am saying, "McDaniel, I'm so sorry, it's not you, it really isn't you, it's me and my selfish need for the elusive 'something more.'" What I learned at McDaniel is invaluable, and I wouldn't trade my experience there for anything.

But for me, at least, it really is time to move on.

And as one friend wrote on my Facebook farewell/announcement, "It's not 'good-bye,' it's 'see you later.'"

See you later, McDaniel. I'll miss you.

...

Hi, Oakland. Let's get to know each other.